Incongruous Juxtapositions

One advantage of having a Fuze on which my 198 songs jump about and switch places is that I don’t stay in the same mood for long.  That is, if I’m concentrating on the music.  I was, earlier, in the seduction stage of self-pity (which became a home movie about Le Colbert) over hearing The Last Cheater’s Waltz followed by Lay Me Low, while fiddling around with the rosary I got, blessed, for Bob Bitler.  He didn’t live to see the gift and it’s the last thing I have of him.  It needs to go.  The fact that I never actually cheated with Bob notwithstanding, I have a deep sense of having sinned by flirting and allowing him to behave toward me in a manner unbecoming to his position and dishonorable toward his wife.

But the next song was Nancy Whiskey!  Shane MacGowan and “the Popes”, which I think is a misspelling of Pogues.  It sounds like the Pogues.  The point is, I said:  Wait a minute, I’m an alcoholic!  I love to wallow in grief and sadness, and I do it whenever I can!  So snapping out of it is part of my medicine.  There’s a time and a place for self-flagellation, and that was not it.  Today I can tell the difference between “justifiable” maudlin-ity and genuine peering into the chasm of repentance.  Frequently it happens that I can’t snap myself out of something without God’s help.  But tonight was not that time either.  I finished preparing dinner and enjoyed eating it with Harley.

The rosary is mine.  But I think I’ll give it away.  (Maybe I’ll give it to Stephen Colbert!)

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Published in: on April 15, 2011 at 6:22 pm  Leave a Comment  

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