Which is it? “Don’t let it bother you?” Or, “Keep standing up and speaking the Truth?”

An exchange of emails between me and a person who defends the person I talked about the other day.  Names have been changed. 

“Barf Bag” is referring to a post I made in a private forum at XYZ several months ago. expressing frustration at some members of ABC Forum for making fun of a newcomer and a woman who posted about Stephen [Colbert] looking older.  I had to go search for what he was talking about, and I found the bumped-up thread.  Interestingly enough it was a thread of several women commisserating on the same thing, and nobody said a single unkind word — just stuff saying the perpetrators were creative and smart and what a shame it was they couldn’t be trusted.  Nobody’s screen name was mentioned, but the original report referred to the ABC Book Club thread, where a newcomer had been lewdly and vulgarly propositioned for sex. 

Since the forum I posted in is for women, and it appears the Barf is a man, I have to assume he’s one of the mysterious new people who recently joined — under a new profile.  At my other boards these people are called Sock Puppets.



It is very rare that anything on the internet remains private.. On the internet, many people make different personas for themself and gender identity is often assumed and not a guarantee. People have the right to make comments, and other people have to right to comment back. Sometimes these comments can seem mean, but often time they are intended to be funny on colboard because one would assume all visitors are it-getters and wouldn’t mind partaking in the roll of speaking in “Stephen’s” voice… Talking about one board and it’s misgiving on another board (where most of the members could not see such comments) is totally uncool.  If you have a problem with colboarders, you won’t get anyone to change if you don’t speak up about it and let them know their ill-comings… 

I’m not trying to change anybody.  I did question the moderators about the use of graphic sexual language, and they said it was allowed.  Question:  have you read the thread this Barf Bag person is referring to?  (Since I can’t assume anything about you.)   Because FYI, about five people were involved in the discussion.  I am far from the only one who thinks it’s a shame that newcomers are insulted and propositioned.   My decision was to stay out of the boards, except for the [one], because I cannot forego the pictures.

I am greatly surprised that you (or anybody else) find my expressing my feelings “totally uncool,” yet defend the practices of deceit and trickery.  I am one of the coolest people I know.  What is uncool is using dirty sexual language to make a woman uncomfortable enough to leave a forum and then calling it “free speech” or saying, “It’s words, he’s not actually pulling his penis out and offering it.”   I am labelled Uncool right after being told that “People have the right to make comments, and other people have to right to comment back.”

I agree with your assertion that “gender identity is often assumed and not a guarantee.”   I don’t agree that “one would assume all visitors are it-getters and wouldn’t mind partaking in the [role} of speaking in “Stephen’s” voice… ”  Why should I assume somebody is an “it-getter,”  then rein in my opinions on the assumption that they might be masquerading as a woman to spy on a woman’s forum? 

“Stephen” would not outrage his fans like that.  It’s not his voice being used.

I think I just figured out who you are.


*Note:  “Stephen” with quotation marks is almost universally used to mean the character Stephen Colbert plays on his show, who has the same name but different values and personality traits.  Trust me that neither “Stephen” nor Stephen would can be blamed for the nastiness that their fans commit.

Published in: on November 1, 2011 at 10:33 am  Leave a Comment  

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